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Friday, December 21, 2012

If A Woman Does It, It's Not Rape

It's "just sex", or "midlife crisis" or "he's persistent" or "low self-esteem" or "she's vulnerable" or "it goes on everywhere" or whatever. Anything but the r-word which, apparently, only men are capable of doing:
A Florida teacher was arrested on felony charges this weekend after she was caught with her pants down having sex with a 16-year-old foreign exchange student. Amie Neely, 38, was taken into custody on Sunday, police told South Florida's WPTV, after her husband tracked her location using the GPS on her phone and found her getting it on with the teenager in a nearby parking lot.

Neighbors reported the incident to the police after the teen showed up at a nearby home later that day and said he'd been kicked out of the house "because he had sex with Amie."

Neely denied having multiple sexual encounters with the student, reportedly telling police the boy had repeatedly pressured her to have sex with him and that due to her "midlife crisis issues" she thought he would stop asking if she slept with him once.

A representative for the Community Christian Academy in Stuart, Fla., where Neely was a teacher prior to the incident, told the Daily News on Wednesday that she is no longer employed by the school.

"Community Christian Academy is aware of a legal situation involving a teacher and we are cooperating with law enforcement officials who are dealing with this as an ongoing investigation," Norma Hammond, administrative director for the school, told WPTV in the wake of Neely's arrest. "For that reason we have no further comment at this time. We will be issuing a more detailed statement after meeting with school board and church leadership."

Parents at the school expressed surprise at the news, but also offered sympathy for Neely's situation. "But you know what? She is a human being," parent Terri Gillam told WPBF 25 News. "And we all are vulnerable at different times in our life. You know, and that's sad. It's sad, because evidently, low self-esteem, you never know what goes on in people's homes. It's sad. And that's what I feel like, and that's what I pray for -- for her."

"I was shocked, but it goes on everywhere," Kelly Eldridge, another parent, told the TV station. "That's sad."

[Bolded text mine, EW]
I feel like a broken record here, but given the tenor of most of the comments, I hafta ask this question of all those equalitarians in the audience: If this were a somewhat handsome 38 yo adult male having sex with a 16 yo young adult woman, would we hear any of these excuses being offered? Or would we instead be hearing a near-universal cacaphony of demands for his gonads on a plate, to throw the book at him? If the latter, why the difference? If men and women are equal, and sex neutral laws should be applied in an even-handed manner without regard to the status of the offender, then why do equalitarians tolerate a higher behavioral standard for men, and a lower, more permissive one for women? Isn't that what is done for those not capable of full agency, such as children?

Shifting gears a bit, now comes a question for the rape culture hysteria activists: Isn't statutory rape, rape? Or is it one of the many variants of not-rape we roll up into the category of rape when we want to swing the hammer at men but still reserve the option to excuse away female criminality? Is what Ms. Neely did given a pass because it approaches Ensler-approved rape, and therefore resembles a "good rape"?*

* A fully qualified "good rape" in the Ensler taxonomy would be F-f, but since this is F-m, it doesn't quite fit.

Also, should they be in church at 10:00 AM on a Sunday? Just sayin'.

15 comments:

Amy Haines said...

Now and then a radio show I listen to comments on these teacher-student sex situations, and the general opinion of the hosts and callers of the show is that young men want it, and it's not rape (the show's hosts and most callers are all male).

I get that angle. But I also hate the shoe-on-the-other-foot logic that feminists, law enforcement, etc. abide by when investigating or commenting on these rapes - for that is what they are. If you define statutory rape with strict boundaries of the age of consent and of age gaps between the people in question, then you're right, EW, rape is rape. I don't know why people are willing to give a pass for the rapist based on her sex.

I'm getting older; I'll be 37 in a few days. We have three kids. I'm happily married to the most wonderful man I've ever known and doing my best to keep it together on every level. Is it a "crisis"? No, but it does trouble me to get older.

I'm not driven to copulate with younger men to validate myself as a woman; that validation comes from my husband and my children. I think many people acknowledge there is something wrong with the "me, me, me" culture in which we live, but it is not a wrong which manifests as a gross and acute pathology; rather it is chronic yet hidden on a level that people accept it as normal behavior. Humans are not rational animals, but they are rationalizing animals.

I think a part of what drives women to do these things is the youth-obsession our larger culture has. Women do not want to take their places as the wise crones in the hierarchy of women, because it means a sacrifice of their sexual desirability. Older women do not give advice to younger women; no one sees value in children because they are still mental children themselves, and quite often, they dress the part.

Overall, this woman's rape of a youth under her tutelage was about validating her attractiveness and sexuality. She had power over him and used it to gratify herself. What other definition of rape is required?

Sorry for the rambling response, it's early, I'm tired, and getting ready for another day of being my best for the kids (the CT murders have limned every moment with our children

Amy Haines said...

Re: what drives women - I don't mean to place blame on our larger culture. An individual is always culpable for his or her actions, but cultural influence happens. How one responds to such influence is a mark of the strength or weakness of one's character.

Elspeth @ Breathing Grace said...

Your link doesn't work EW, but I found the story here:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/teacher-caught-sex-teen-parking-lot-article-1.1201771

Elspeth @ Breathing Grace said...

Oh, and I agree with Amy Haines:

I think a part of what drives women to do these things is the youth-obsession our larger culture has. Women do not want to take their places as the wise crones in the hierarchy of women, because it means a sacrifice of their sexual desirability.

It's odd that a married woman would have this struggle. My husband desires me greatly, therefore I can be a wise crone and sexually desirable in the context of a safe, God-honoring marriage relationship.

We live in a sick culture when married women need to copulate with teenage boys to feed their narcissistic desire to pretend they are still youthful.

And the comments excusing this kind of thing? Reprehensible, but not at all shocking. There is an entrenched belief that it's different with young men than with young women. It's hypocritical, but it is entrenched.

Christina said...

I have a hard time calling this rape.

But then, I'm of the mind that the girls who attempt seducing their physics or history teachers for that A are sexual predators.

I actually am in complete agreement with Elspeth on the "wise crone" bit.

Where it has shocked me to no end that I'm a year away from 30 and my mind still hasn't accepted I'm not 25 anymore (I stopped paying attention to my age when my son was born...simply because I had more important things to do), I don't mind the idea of being the Titus 2:4 woman. That's what I want to be.

Unknown said...

When a male adult has consensual sex with a minor, people say "off with his genitals". Some states and countries already have castration laws in place.

How many cases have we seen , where women cut off the genitals of their sleeping husband/boyfriend because he wanted a divorce/suspected him of having an affair/had an affair ?

How many women cheered , clapped and supported these mutilations ? How many even got jail sentence (IMO that is too less given castration is mandated in some places, this crime is far more severe than rape) ?
It is high time men picked up knives and castrated cheating wives and girlfriends. Women should be treated as equals in all its spectrum, not just the good and happy side of equality.

Dexter said...

the general opinion of the hosts and callers of the show is that young men want it, and it's not rape

Yeah and when a 16-year old girl gets it on with an adult man, she wants it, too. It is consensual! Except by definition, she cannot give her consent any more than a 16-year old boy can.

mickeypavic said...

The impression is that male student 'want' it while female students are coerced.

I have several male teacher friends and they show me the letters they receive from their female pupils (which they submit to their principles to cover false accusations when they don't reply favorably) and I can guarantee that the female student 'want it' in the same measure male students do.

ray said...

Parents at the school expressed surprise at the news, but also offered sympathy for Neely's situation. "But you know what? She is a human being," parent Terri Gillam told WPBF 25 News. "And we all are vulnerable at different times in our life. You know, and that's sad. It's sad, because evidently, low self-esteem, you never know what goes on in people's homes. It's sad. And that's what I feel like, and that's what I pray for -- for her."


FEMALE rapists get Prayed For, Counseled, and put on Probation

MALE rapists get 20 years in cages where they are raped for REAL, then the next day it starts all over again, and America LOVES IT

Parent Terri and Team Woman would be SCREAMING for the Perpetrator's balls-on-a-sandy-hook if the rapist had been male

one set of "laws" for females and a completely different set for males = tyranny, a.k.a. apartheid

multiply this times a blazillion each day, you get America

no, gee, i just cant understand why guys are blowing up the Fempire, it must be too many guns

fortunately the Prissy President in on the job for the Grrls, and he'll take whatever measures are necessary to keep Her Homeland safe (except stop persecuting boys and men)

Elusive Wapiti said...

Thanks Elspeth. Fixed.

Elusive Wapiti said...

Women do not want to take their places as the wise crones in the hierarchy of women, because it means a sacrifice of their sexual desirability.

Agree wholeheartedly with the first clause, disagree with the second. For some reason, older women these days seem reluctant to be the wise elder sister, helping the younger versions of themselves to navigate through life's pitfalls. To avoid learning the lessons they had to learnPerhaps it is because they are threatened by them and their youthful sexuality? Or perhaps it is because they think they have nothing subtantive to offer? Perhaps also, with the decline in church attendance, there simply isn't the structure there for older women to mentor younger ones.

Liberalism's focus on sexuality to the exclusion of nearly all other measures of female merit means that when a woman matures out of the SMP value she matured into in her early years, she has nothing left of value to contribute...at least as far as liberalism is concerned. Bankrupt.

"Overall, this woman's rape of a youth under her tutelage was about validating her attractiveness and sexuality. "

The interesting thing about this case is how it doesn't fit with the hypergamy theory of sexuality. I can't see how hypergamy would lead an upper 30s woman to go into estrous over a teen boy's social rank. This case suggests other factors are at play, and "validating attractiveness and sexuality" would be a reasonable motive in an age of unchained female sexuality.

@ Unknown,

"I have a hard time calling this rape"

Were it not for our society calling M-f consensual sex rape, I wouldn't either. Offensive sex, yes. Sex offense? No. I concur with many here that a teen female has as much sexual agency as her male peer...may be even more, in the sense that since boys enter puberty 1-2 years later, a 16 yo young woman has as much sexual agency as a 17-18 yo male. Thus if a 17 yo male, who barely has stubble, is hot for teacher, you can bet your bottom dollar that a 15-16 yo female is too. Her hormones are ringing like a fire alarm, and only the residue of Victorian morality (in which female is pure and male is corrupt) blinds us to this fact.

Elusive Wapiti said...

"no, gee, i just cant understand why guys are blowing up the Fempire, it must be too many guns"

The irony about the soft matriarchy in which we are now coming to inhabit is that it creates the sort of climate of male dissociation and disenfranchisement that makes for increasing violence of the senseless/pointless sort.

Readers here of the liberalist-feminist persuasion may object, but a society in which female sexuality is loosed from its traditional bonds is one which fails to corral the roiling energies of its men in constructive directions.

But to talk about the "fempire's" effect on family structure, how it creates all these unattached low-attached males, some of them inclined to do evil, seems to be gauche. They prefer instead to bang on about taking tools away from evil...as if taking guns away from evil will suddenly make evil less able to kill or harm.

Dexter said...

For some reason, older women these days seem reluctant to be the wise elder sister, helping the younger versions of themselves to navigate through life's pitfalls.

They were the first generation marinated in all that "don't be judgmental, there is no right and wrong only different choices, do what is right for you" crap.

ray said...


But to talk about the "fempire's" effect on family structure, how it creates all these unattached low-attached males, some of them inclined to do evil, seems to be gauche. They prefer instead to bang on about taking tools away from evil...as if taking guns away from evil will suddenly make evil less able to kill or harm


at this point, any admission by the matriarchy that the matriarchy could be wrong about anything is absolutely verboten . . . esp now that their Multikulti Messiah is back for his second advent :O)


the nurturing, ever-concerned fempire, beating her breast each day about The Chiiiillllddren (meaning, herself) is the same fempire that would rather see its kindergartners butchered than face the hard, but inescapable, reality that destroying masculinity, and separating males from any access to cultural investment, guarantees a national freefire zone

this further entrenches the militaristic gynocracy, which then persecutes more guys for guyness, and the cycle continues endless, very good for business if your business is a police state or maintaining an entrenched political class . . . or selling useless shit to girls and women

they know EXACTLY what they are doing EW, dont fool yourself

they know what theyre doing -- they dont care, and they think theyll get away with it

they are too stubborn, arrogant, and glutted with privilege and power to turn away from their hate and iniquity, which they now have foisted upon the rest of the west, to disastrous effect

no indeed, they'd rather see every male in america driven to murderous despair, than to admit they were wrong about re-engineering the human sexes, and handing the keys of the planet to their daffy dotters

Justthisguy said...

As a somewhat-autistic person, I often find myself thinking, "What are these "age-appropriate relationships" of which you speak?" I used to have an account at an Aspie forum run by a woman who bagged a 16-year-old and married him when she was 30-something. There have been moderators there as young as 8.

The desire for jailbait seems just about universal, in both sexes. Fresh meat, and all that.